Thursday, November 19, 2009

St. Louis Party

I've always claimed that I'm from St. Louis. I lived there for about three years. I graduated from high school there and the only long-term friends I have besides my family members are from there. So I've always considered myself a St. Louis man unlike my older siblings who claim Kansas City and my younger siblings who claim little podunk towns in Colorado and Utah. However, I discovered last night that I belong in St. Louis about as much as I belong in Little Rock, Arkansas. Which is to say, not at all.

Last night Craig dragged me along to a "St. Louis party" which was just a gathering of people from St. Louis at Brick Oven pizza. Besides my friends that I hang out with all the time I only knew two people and I don't like them much. The feeling is mutual. I recognized a couple others and we exchanged pleasantries. A few others recognized me and said hi although I don't remember ever meeting them or talking to them before. It's always weird when someone knows your name and where you're from and you're pretty sure you've never seen them before. The rest of the people didn't know me and I didn't know them and after looking at them and listening to them I decided I'd prefer to keep it that way.

It was a very boring night. I sat next to Matt and we just sipped our drinks while everyone around us was reminiscing about our days in St. Louis. The only person I exchanged any real conversation with was someone not even from St. Louis. She was engaged to one of the St. Louis people and looked about as lost and unwelcome as I felt. I had quite a few friends back in the day in St. Louis, but they're all spread all over the country now and I just didn't run in this crowd. I didn't belong in this gathering. I realized that if I were to go back to St. Louis I'd have no one to see and nowhere to stay. It was a sad realization as I've always looked back upon my days in St. Louis with fondness.

So once again I've decided that I have no home. I'd never claim Utah, I've been too long away from Missouri and I'd rather claim Iraq than Kansas. I plan to move back to Missouri in the not too distant future and so maybe I'll be able to claim it as my home again.

On a sentimental note, one year ago today was the first time I cuddled with my wife. Now she's almost five months pregnant with my child. How about that.

Thursday, October 29, 2009

My EMT Training...

I'm taking an EMT course. EMTs are the first ones to arrive on the scene when something happens be it a car accident, suicide, or trouble breathing. That's why I'm a little concerned about what my teachers are telling me. If I'm gonna be there first then I need to know what I'm doing because otherwise my ignorance could cost someone their life. Therefore, I need to trust my teachers to train me. The following are a few words and phrases I've heard in class:

Periphial (instead of peripheral)
Tibula (instead of tibia)
Thoratic cavity (not thoracic)
big trauma thingy (?)

That's only a few that I pulled off the top of my head. They mispronounce medical terms all the time that I already know. If they can't get their terms right then how can I trust the other things they say? To make matters worse I've received conflicting instructions from various teachers who teach in our class. A few times they have told us the exact opposite of what the teacher told us in the previous class period. That kind of worries me. I know hyperventilation is no big deal, but what if it's important and they do that? Then we had the four hour lecture on back safety. I could have summed it up in five seconds: Lift with your legs and don't twist your back! That was basically the whole lecture. Four hours long. Not kidding.

There are silly little things too, but they're important to us students. Every single test there has been a large portion of material that we haven't covered yet. Then we cover that material the following week. Does that seem backwards to anybody? The class, however, is quite easy which also worries me. I've taken a total of four pages of handwritten notes this semester. I do not own the textbook nor have I read any of it from other sources. The guys at my table and I make fun of the teachers, lectures, and our classmates all throughout each class period when we're not physically bandaging amputated arms or extracting people from imaginary car accidents. And yet, I got a 90% on the last test. Let's pray that our EMTs are being trained adequately because next time you need help it might be me who shows up.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

Teenagers as Sex Objects

The other day my wife told me about this song she likes. She was quick to point out that she in not normally a Miley Cyrus fan, but she likes this song. She wanted me to listen to it, so I pulled it up on youtube and we watched it. Ok, I know I'm not up to speed on pop culture, but isn't that girl 16? Because she doesn't dress 16 or act 16 or dance 16. In fact, it seems every effort was made to make her appear to be at least 18 and you can bet all the skanky dancers around here were at least 18. A child was portrayed as an adult in that video. And you can bet it has an effect on her. I'm pretty sure she doesn't think of herself as a child anymore. She's probably already got this complex about being the center of the universe. It happens to a lot of child stars, but now she thinks she's an adult.

I thought about that and it seemed really sad to me, so I decided to check and see if it was an isolated incident. It definitely is not. A large number of teenage girls are portrayed as adult or at least in adult situations where they have to make adult decisions. And I'm not even talking about sex, although that's a part of it. What kind of message is that sending to kids watching these shows and videos and following their lives? Even some of the cartoons. I saw an episode of this Teen Titans show while I was at work. It's about these teenage superheroes. First, where are their parents? Why are they allowed to live on their own and do all this stuff? Second, where did all the money come from for all their stuff? They have their own tower with sophisticated security systems and all this other crap. This may seem kind of silly for me to rant about, but it's part of the problem. In order to attract teen and pre-teen children these shows are portraying teens as adults who can lead adult lives.

Then we've got the models. Lots of models are between 14 and 17. Not legal yet, but they are on the fashion runway as adults. The youngest bigshot I found was a 13 year old girl who's first major runway thing, (whatever it's called), was the day before she turned 13. How messed up is that? And you wonder why we've got so many creepy pedophiles out there? I'm not excusing any such sick behavior, but it's not gonna help the problem when you've got 15 year old girls strutting their stuff in bikinis on the runway. Then you've got Miley Cyrus with her half naked pictures all over the internet, that Spears girl getting pregnant at 16, and I'm not sure who Vanessa Hudgens is, but apparently she had some near naked pictures too. And these are people our little kids are watching on the Disney Channel and our teenage girls are idolizing and imitating.

I can't blame the girls. Everyone loves to point fingers at child stars gone bad, but come on. They're children! The irresponsible ones who should bear most of the blame are the parents who thrust their child out into a world that they aren't ready for and then cry when the child can't handle it. I could name any number of these child stars. The parents bear the majority of the blame and then the movie, music, and tv industries that made their roles. Kids have a little trouble judging the difference between reality and imagination. You tell them they're something long enough and they'll believe it. However, we are all responsible for our own actions, so these child stars still bear a portion of the blame and need to stop acting like idiots. It would be ok for miss Miley Cyrus to say, "You know what? I think I'll pass on being a slut today. Thanks for the offer though." I feel bad for her though. Her childhood was stolen.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Racism and Politics

You know, I don't get it. Why do people always have to pull the race card? Everything isn't always about racism! Whenever a story hits the front page and there are two people who oppose each other and they happen to be of different races someone always screams: Racism!!! And then everyone jumps on the bandwagon and all of a sudden the issue is forgotten because the racism trump card has taken over. It's stupid. I think racism could die if we'd just let it die.

Some people can't let go of their roots. Look at the Mormons. Almost two hundred years ago the Mormons got persecuted pretty badly. People yelled at them, spit on them, beat them, imprisoned them, stole their lands and their homes, and killed them. That's pretty horrible. However, you'll notice I said "them". I'm a Mormon, but I said them because it never happened to me! I have not ever experienced any real persecution and not very many Mormons alive today have experienced it. And yet we all still have this persecution complex that we can't seem to let go. Oh, everyone treats us so bad because we're Mormons!! No they don't! They may make fun of us and not agree with us and I've heard the occasional derogatory comment, but so what? I think I don't need to worry about that.

The same goes for racism. Yes, our history is full of racism. Just about every ethnicity was the target of hate crimes at one time or another in this country. They've been despised, rejected, mistreated, and subjected to every inhumane crime imaginable. But you know what? That doesn't happen very often anymore. Very rarely do we hear about this sort of hate crime occurring and when it does there is a great showing of public outrage. As a society we don't tolerate racism anymore. That period is over and done with, hopefully forever. Yes, acts of racism will occur. You'll never get rid of all the ignorant jerks out there, but as a whole I think we're doing pretty good. So I think people need to get off their high horse and quit pointing the finger at everyone who disagrees with something someone of another race says.

I am a white man. I've always been a white man. I don't know what it's like to be Asian or Black. I'd give it a shot for awhile if I could, but I can't. I'll try and explain how I feel about this situation. I have to be extremely careful in public with anything I say. I've been accused of a lot things because of a flippant comment every now and then. I don't mean anything by it, but I've seen a tiny phrase taken and manipulated so that it looks like I'm some horrible racist or chauvinist. I'm not, but people are very quick to believe I am because I'm a white man. This is getting out of hand. Pretty soon I won't be able to speak or look at someone of another ethnicity without being called a racist. Let me give a few examples:

Rep. Joe Wilson shouted out during President Obama's speech "You lie!" Now that was wrong. It was stupid, irritating, discourteous, and bad-mannered. You don't shout out during anyone's speech. That's just rude. You do not shout at the president of the United States. I do not believe, however, that this was racially motivated. If you haven't noticed, we've been having these outbursts all over the country in town hall meetings when this subject has come up. I'd like to say that this is ridiculous. Shouting and interrupting never gets anything resolved. It was an embarrassment to our democratic system. This was just one more out of place outburst by some idiot and that should be an end to it. It wasn't racist.

I've heard from a number of sources that the opposition to President Obama's healthcare reform is racially motivated. Once again, that's not true. Usually the simplest explanation is correct one. People are opposed to the president's healthcare plan because they don't like the president's healthcare plan! That's all there is to it, so instead of talking about how racist everyone is maybe we should look at this healthcare plan and see why everyone hates it. We elected the man! If we didn't want a black president we wouldn't have elected a black president! I don't believe we'd let racism blind us to the issue at hand after just ignoring racism and electing him.

There have been a number of protests throughout the country. In those protests President Obama has been portrayed negatively. A few examples are his portrayal as Hitler and as a witch doctor. Oh, people were quick to shout racism on those. Guess what? Every president has been caricatured and protested and ridiculed! People will always do that to anyone! It's not because of his race! President Obama isn't the first to be depicted as Hitler and he certainly won't be the last. President Bush was often portrayed as a monkey. I bet the racemongers would have jumped on that pretty quick if President Bush had been black. They would have been shouting racist from coast to coast. Let's look at our own history and see that clever, angry artists (and sometimes not so clever ones) will take any aspect, especially physical aspects, and make a president look like a fool. It's not racism.

Now, let me show how a few things have been created which are ok for the minority, but if the majority tried it they would be impaled with a barrage of criticsm:

Black Entertainment Television-can you see a White Entertainment Television being created? The outrage would be in the news for months.

Black Entertainment News

Chocolate News-Hey! Let's make fun of white people! This show was recently cancelled and people are saying it's because the nation isn't ready for black people to comment on the news while having a black president. Are you serious? Maybe the show was offensive or maybe it just plain sucked.

Miss Black America Pageant-Ok, so white people are excluded. That sounds pretty racist to me. There's no Miss White America Pageant. Again, it would be shut down immediately.

In Living Color-a tv show. I watched quite a few episodes and they loved to make fun of white people. Jim Carrey was on the cast and seemed to be quite the outsider although he did a pretty good job of playing the pathetic white man.

The Resolution to Apologize for Slavery-Get over it! No living person was a slave. No living person was a slave owner. They've all died and may they rest in peace or in Hell as they deserve. I had nothing to do with it. I'm not apologizing for anything. And look at it this way. Africa is in shambles. AIDS is rampant. I recently heard a statistic that 70% of the people on the continent are HIV positive. That may be high, but still, it's crazy. Social order is existant in only a handful of countries. Civil war and tribal wars rage unchecked and genocide is a constant goal of many military groups. It's horrible what happened to your ancestors, but you are lucky that they were dragged over to this country because you live in the land of opportunity. That may sound harsh, but it's true. So seriously, get over the slavery thing.

Black Planet the "largest black community online"-Really? Is that necessary? Way to make me feel like I don't belong. That only hurts my feelings a little bit.

Do you see what I'm getting at? If anything these organizations and communities are keeping racism on the front of our minds, which in turn is keeping racism alive because they are screaming out that they are different because of the color of their skin. I think as a country we should let racism die. I'm tired of being told I don't understand because I'm white. I'm tired of being afraid to speak or disagree with another ethnicity for fear of being called a racist. Let it go. If someone actually does something racist then let's call them out and deal with it, but stop yelling racist every two minutes.

Friday, September 4, 2009

Tennis Master of the Universe for the Weekend

Craig and I were a little excited about our upcoming tournament, so today we played a best two out of three Tennis Master of the Universe for the Weekend game. It started out fantastically with me killing Craig in the first match. However, things went downhill and I failed to win the other games and had to concede the title to Craig. He's now upstairs enjoying the spoils of victory while I'm sitting at home alone smelling bad in a pool of my own sweat. Our much anticipated Tennis Master of the Universe for the Week game is coming up and there are still VIP seats available. We are expecting a sell-out crowd, so be sure to reserve your places now.

Sunday, August 30, 2009

Tennis Master of the Universe

The last couple months I've been playing tennis quite often with Craig. We're both fat and lazy, so it's been our feeble attempt at physical activity. Anyway, the last game of every day turned into a sort of tournament game. We decided to call the winner of that game the Tennis Master of the Universe for the Day. I mean, it's not like anyone will come forth to dispute that title. So every day one of us gets to go home and proudly declare to his wife that he is the Tennis Master of the Universe for the Day.

This Saturday we played and for the first time ever the winner got to declare himself as the Tennis Master of the Universe for the Weekend! It was thus decided because the game ended in a shutout. After his rather humiliating defeat Craig decided on something new. This week we will have a set of three games. The winner of two out of three of these games will gain the exalted title of Tennis Master of the Universe for the Week! He extended this challenge on his blog: Escape from Bubble Nation. Terms and conditions for attending and sponsoring this tournament were outlined there. I would like to invite all available parties to come and see the great Tennis Master of the Universe for the Week event. VIP seating is limited as are mugs and T-shirts, so be the first to order.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Police Beat

A lot of us hate the Provo cops. I hate them more than most people. However, when you see what they have to do all day and the stupid stuff people call them for, maybe you can understand why they're such stupid, dumb@!&*, *@#-&*!@, mother&#^*ers!

Dec. 29: A male student was reported suspiciously looking into cars in a campus parking lot. Police discovered that the student was actually looking into his own car, looking for his backpack.

Jan. 6: Police discovered two male students had created a ramp by packing snow against a window at Helaman Halls. The students planned to jump from the window of the building and go down the ramp. Police asked the students to remove the snow and no further action was taken.

Aug. 31-Sept 10: A 10 x 18 inch mirror was reported stolen from an office on the second floor of the library. The estimated value of the mirror is $20.

Sept 16: Juveniles were reported launching objects in the Richards Building area, in the direction of the pool. As police were taking this report, another victim complained about somebody throwing objects from the west overpass on North Campus Drive. Police think the two incidents are related. One of the victims followed the suspects to Helaman Halls and got a room number. Nobody responded at the room but police are following up on this incident.

Sept 17: A 21-year-old female student reported a suspicious man near the old UVSC campus, west of Helaman Halls. The suspect was described as a 30-year-old man, 5-foot-10, normal build, scruffy face, a two-day-old beard, a European accent and wearing a tan baseball cap, tan shirt and dark pants. He was reported for being suspicious simply because he didn't fit the profile of a student or an employee, and being a little bit off the main thoroughfare of campus, the student was concerned about it.

Sept 14: Two juveniles were reported rollerblading down the rails at LaVell Edwards Stadium. They scratched the paint off the rails and left deep gouges in the lawn where they landed. Their parents were contacted and they were sent home.

Sept 12: A conflict, due to a failure to communicate and talk problems out, was reported between two 18-year-old female students living in M. Smith Hall in Heritage Halls. The roommates have been arguing over apartment chores and accusing one another of destroying each other's food. Profanity and some hair pulling was involved. This has been turned over to the housing office for a resolution

July 27: Someone thought there was possibly a burglary when they returned to their car and a window was broken out. Nothing appeared to be missing from the car, so officers think the window may have exploded because of the heat.

July 27: There was a complaint in the HBLL of a male visitor looking at adult pornography on the computer. This was not the first complaint against him for this type of conduct and he was banned from campus for 72 hours.

July 18: There was a dispute over a call a referee made during a soccer game. The argument became heated and the police had to make peace and escort the arguers off the field.

July 3: Officers responded to a suspicious person at the Bookstore upset about the deodorant selection. The person picked up a stick of deodorant, kicked it across the floor, then paid for the deodorant and left.

That's only a small selection from the Provo Police Beat. These are ridiculous things the cops had to put up with. There were some where the cops were being jerks, but I left those out.