Zombies!

To start out I wanna say that for most of my life I've thought Zombies were the stupidest or the horror creatures. They're dumb, slow, and they have no super powers. I never understood how a zombie infestation could occur. You'd think that just a couple people could take down whichever zombies happen to pop up and then it's all over. This summer I got turned on to the whole zombie idea. I read a couple of books by Max Brooks called "The Zombie Survival Guide" and "World War Z (An Oral History of the Zombie War)". Those books made zombies seem interesting and showed how an infestation is plausible.

First, I think it's necessary to explain zombies. Zombies are created by an infection from the virus Solanum. The origins of said virus are unknown. It has never been found in any natural environment. The virus is transmitted through fluids. The most common form of infection is by a bite from an infected individual. It is also transmissible by getting zombie goo in your eye or being poked by a zombie bone. The virus invades the brain and takes over the frontal lobe. It then shuts down all bodily functions so that the individual is perceived as dead. After a time the body reanimates. The brain at this point is like a parasite completely independent from the body. It uses the body systems but is not dependent on them. As such, the only way to "kill" a zombie is by destroying the brain.

The whole process from infection to reanimation can take place over the span of a few minutes or several weeks depending on where the infection took place and how much of the virus was injected. In this manner a zombie infestation can go from being a local problem to worldwide since an individual could receive a small bite wound on the hand and then take a plane to another country before succumbing to the virus. They then "die" and are taken to the hospital where they reanimate and bite the doctor, nurses, etc. The smallest amount of the virus is 100% fatal. Thankfully the virus is not airborne.

Zombies are indeed dumb and slow. Their intelligence is somewhere around the level of an insect. Since their tissue is necrotic they have somewhat stiff and very uncoordinated movements. They are, however, tireless. They don't sleep, they have no emotion, and their only instinct is to eat. They'll eat anything living, but for some unknown reason prefer human flesh. They're too stupid and uncoordinated to climb, but they'll try.

I've planned for a zombie out break in my current living conditions. I live on the second floor of the King Henry apartment complex. If I became aware of a potential outbreak I'd go to the store first thing and buy plenty of non perishable food. I'd make sure I had enough to keep me going for a few months in case things got nasty. I'd also buy a sledgehammer, a crowbar, a rifle, and a pistol. The sledgehammer would be to destroy the concrete stairs at my complex. That way the zombies couldn't get up to the second floor unless there were so many that they made a ramp of bodies up to us. In that case we'd be screwed. The crowbar would be a good zombie head smashing tool.

If an outbreak did occur I'd fill the tub and sinks with water in order to have a supply of fresh water. I'd also fill every dish with water. You can never have too much water. I'd have everyone on the floor do the same thing. I'd institute a blackout. No lights, no noise. We don't want to attract the dead to where we are. They don't logically search anything, so unless they hear or see us they'll just pass us by. I'd also organize watches so that we always have a lookout. Although I'm pretty sure the zombies can't get up to us you can never be too careful. We'd also have to watch for any regular people trying to climb up to us for safety. They might have been bitten already or they might be desperate and dangerous. At first we'd probably be in more danger from regular people than from zombies.

That should all be sufficient to keep us safe until the crisis is over. There is a chance, however slight, that the infestation will get out of control. In that case there would be thousands of zombies and small chance of rescue. In that case our supplies would be running low and we'd have to find ourselves a new fortress. I would have researched in the first days before power and water were lost where these potential locations can be found. I'd prefer going to a military base, but the only one I know of in Utah is an air force base in Ogden and that's too far away. My best guess is a prison would be the place to go. There's a nearby prison in Spanish Fork. I wouldn't want to take a big group, but I'd have to take everyone on my floor. It just wouldn't be ethical to abandon them. I might split us up into groups of 5 or 6. It's easier to escape detection moving in small groups.

Travel would have to be on foot. There are several reasons for this. First, cars make a lot of noise. We'd be attracting zombies from miles away. Second, at this point in the crisis most of the cars are probably out of gas and so are all the gas stations. Third, from the panic of the previous weeks or months the roads are most likely blocked with stalled vehicles. Bikes would be a good way to go, but not many of us have bikes, so we'd have to walk. The freeway is the safest way since it has high walls and good line of sight. A problem would be zombies stuck in cars. People who were bitten and turned in the car would be trapped in their cars and zombies make noise when they see you. This moan or wail that will attract other zombies. It is still the best way to go though. We'd take the freeway and head to the local prison. We'd leave in the morning and travel only in daylight hours. Hopefully we'd be able to make the trip in just one day. Camping out at night we'd have to keep a watch, but no fires, lights, or sounds. It would be a long night.

If we arrived safely I'd analyze the situation at the prison. If it's deserted that's great. We'll move in and set up shop. Hopefully it was abandoned and there are still supplies. Food in the cafeteria, weapons in the armory. We'd fortify the doors, keep a watch on the walls and wait for rescue. It's possible the prison is occupied. Maybe by other people who had the same idea as me or possibly by former guards and/or prisoners. If that's the case I need to be careful with deciding whether or not to even head in there. I'd have a backup location in mind, so we might go there. If the situation looked tolerable I'd approach whoever was in charge and see if we could move in there.

If the situation got worse and there were suddenly hundreds of thousands of zombies and there was still no help to be found I'm sure our prison would eventually be overrun. The only thing to do would be to head for more rural areas. Getting out of the immediate vicinity would be the hardest part, but there would be nothing close to safety for miles and miles around. If the prison had any armored vehicles I'd try to ram my little group through the wall of undead creatures swarming outside the prison. The prison would have materials for homemade explosives and whatnot. We'd try and carve a way out. We'd abandon the vehicles as soon as we were clear and start walking. If there were no vehicles we'd have to start a fire on one side as a distraction and blast our way out the other side. Then we'd have to run as far as possible and try to lose our pursuers. If they can keep our trail they'll keep following us forever. I suppose we could try to hang glide off the roof, but that's a pretty ridiculous idea. We'd be desperate enough to give it a shot though.

If we magically escaped the general area of the prison and eluded pursuit I'd take Canyon Road. It goes through the Uinta Forest and joins up with highway 40 at Strawberry Reservoir. Fresh water here and then we'd move on to Roosevelt. My family has a house there where my brother is already living and hopefully Roosevelt wouldn't be horribly infested. It's a small town that's pretty isolated. From there I'd have to make a new plan when I saw what the situation was like. Hopefully I'd have been able to gather enough information before leaving the prison to already have a pretty good idea.

Anyway, that's my basic plan for a zombie infestation here in Provo. In the real thing I'd definitely refine my plan, but come on. Zombies don't really exist, so that would be silly.