I've always claimed that I'm from St. Louis. I lived there for about three years. I graduated from high school there and the only long-term friends I have besides my family members are from there. So I've always considered myself a St. Louis man unlike my older siblings who claim Kansas City and my younger siblings who claim little podunk towns in Colorado and Utah. However, I discovered last night that I belong in St. Louis about as much as I belong in Little Rock, Arkansas. Which is to say, not at all.
Last night Craig dragged me along to a "St. Louis party" which was just a gathering of people from St. Louis at Brick Oven pizza. Besides my friends that I hang out with all the time I only knew two people and I don't like them much. The feeling is mutual. I recognized a couple others and we exchanged pleasantries. A few others recognized me and said hi although I don't remember ever meeting them or talking to them before. It's always weird when someone knows your name and where you're from and you're pretty sure you've never seen them before. The rest of the people didn't know me and I didn't know them and after looking at them and listening to them I decided I'd prefer to keep it that way.
It was a very boring night. I sat next to Matt and we just sipped our drinks while everyone around us was reminiscing about our days in St. Louis. The only person I exchanged any real conversation with was someone not even from St. Louis. She was engaged to one of the St. Louis people and looked about as lost and unwelcome as I felt. I had quite a few friends back in the day in St. Louis, but they're all spread all over the country now and I just didn't run in this crowd. I didn't belong in this gathering. I realized that if I were to go back to St. Louis I'd have no one to see and nowhere to stay. It was a sad realization as I've always looked back upon my days in St. Louis with fondness.
So once again I've decided that I have no home. I'd never claim Utah, I've been too long away from Missouri and I'd rather claim Iraq than Kansas. I plan to move back to Missouri in the not too distant future and so maybe I'll be able to claim it as my home again.
On a sentimental note, one year ago today was the first time I cuddled with my wife. Now she's almost five months pregnant with my child. How about that.
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6 comments:
I had that same thought this morning as I was waking up! I can't believe it was only a year ago that we started dating... it seems like we've always been together.
I say its wherever you've lived longest. And that would be Utah.
PS. Help your wife feel better so that you guys can still come.
if it makes you feel any more st louis-y, the reasons you stated above were a big factor in erik and i not coming last night. let's be honest, the coolest st louis people hang out together on a regular basis anyway...
If I'd been at/invited to this "St.Louis get-together," (which I was not, because us Ogden-ers have cooties or something,) it would have been a good time. We could have boxed each other or just got up and left without saying a word. (Yours and Erik's specialty.) Good times.
First off I didn't DRAG you to the reunion.. I forced you. and Secondly, just because theis wan't your crowd doesn't mean you have no friends or anywhere to stay in St. Louis. What about non-member friends or the parents of the people you still hang out with. I don't even have tons of places to stay but I'm not going to reject the place I love because of it.
totally feel you on this one.
and congrats on your wifey being pregnant and all.
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