Porn for Women

The title can be a little misleading, so allow me to say that there is no reference to actual pornography in this blog post. So if that's what you're here for you may as well leave now because you will be very disappointed.

Now that that's out of the way allow me to begin. My daughter has been watching Cinderella recently. It's a simple story where the perfect woman meets the perfect man and they get married and live happily ever after. While I was running errands I thought about the skewed perception of love and marriage that exists in the world, especially among Mormon young women. It is a common view that the girl will meet this amazing, flawless guy. They'll fall instantly in love and they'll have this magical first kiss that goes through them like an electric shock and they'll just know that it's meant to be! After months of blissful dating they'll get married and then... well that's the end of the story.

Where did they get this odd idea? While I was making dinner I thought about it some more. Fairy tales, romance movies/books, Twilight. These all give such an unrealistic view of how it works. Cinderella runs into the prince, they dance while singing "so this is love" and they almost kiss before she has to run off. They are madly in love. Really? Madly in love when they didn't even talk enough for her to find out he's the prince or for him to learn her name. But it works out.

Then you've got the movies where the kiss tells all. If the first kiss is magical then it's meant to be. Ok, I know that's not how it works. I've had some AMAZING kisses and that didn't mean anything more than we were good at kissing. As for the first kiss with my wife? She was asleep. And the second time she was terrified. Good thing we didn't base our relationship on that. I know a guy who was his wife's first kiss. He said "If I hadn't known it was her first kiss I woulda just turned around and walked away."

As I was cleaning up dinner I thought about that awful series Twilight. This is the ultimate porn for women. Here you have the selfish, annoying, obnoxious, girl. She can't make up her mind about two guys, but guess what? She doesn't have to! Why you ask? Because these two guys who are supposed to be absolutely gorgeous and amazing love her unconditionally. It doesn't matter what she does or says or how she acts. They will follow her to the end of the earth. I encountered the same thing in the Hunger Games books.

I've known girls in college who called it quits on relationships because they were looking for "the one". Girls who had a great relationship, but thought something must be missing because they didn't feel completely infatuated 100% of the time. Girls who didn't realize that even great relationships take work to keep them great. That you're gonna fight sometimes. That you'll have doubts sometimes. And they definitely don't realize that marriage is the beginning of the road, not the end.

Regular pornography skews the male outlook on women and makes it so no real relationship can ever live up to their fantasies. It causes perpetual disappointment. That's just one of it's extremely destructive effects. This porn for women can have devastating effects as well. It skews the female outlook on what a relationship is. It creates expectations that can never be fulfilled. It can destroy potentially life-long happiness because the woman is expecting what she's read about.

The guys in these fairy tales, movies, and books don't exist. And I think you don't want them to exist. Think about it. A guy who's personality and life revolve around your every whim and want. How boring is that? Watch Cinderella and tell me that the prince isn't the most boring guy ever. The closest you'll find is the guy who's willing, after a day of class and labs, to run the errands, cook dinner, and then clean it up afterwards. My wife is a lucky woman.